Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
