It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I wish I only lived at night.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
