no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
