it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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