he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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