I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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