He had one of those small greek statue penises
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
