she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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