he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
