I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
