im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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