WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
