5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
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I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
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I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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