I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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