omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
