Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I met the friendliest cop last night
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
