Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There's always time for handjobs
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
