I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
