its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
