Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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