btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
