Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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