I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
