It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
we're making bets on your personal life
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize