can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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