Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
