...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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