If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
