i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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