Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
