me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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