i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Randomize
