clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
