I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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