My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
