Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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