I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
There's always time for handjobs
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
