At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
