before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
