Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
