My room smells like vodka and shame
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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