there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
