hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
