Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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