did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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