piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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