I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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