anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
