he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
