don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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