The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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