theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
