So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
