Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
