I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm bleeding and have questions
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
