hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize