Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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