its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
