I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
