If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize