why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
