I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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